


Six Ways From Sunday

by rarepairsinmycup



Series: abstraction | equals me and you (on hiatus) [2]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Communication, Established Relationship, M/M, Making Out, Male Friendship, Modern Era, Rare Pairings, Series, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2021-02-25 04:42:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21890206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rarepairsinmycup/pseuds/rarepairsinmycup
Summary: Two months into their relationship, Kenpachi seeks advice which is not necessarily the best.
Relationships: Yamada Hanatarou/Zaraki Kenpachi
Series: abstraction | equals me and you (on hiatus) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1576846
Comments: 5
Kudos: 22





	Six Ways From Sunday

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over 'Bleach' nor am I profiting from this.

“You’ve been together for what? I wrote down the date somewhere because you swore you would never date…” Yumichika scrolls through his phone. “Dating for almost two months and you haven’t slept together?” 

Kenpachi grunts and takes another swig of his beer. Discussing his relationship isn’t something he does willingly. Even his kid knows better than to pester him with questions on whether he’s really dating Mister Hana. Does he go there over there when Ikkaku picks her up and she’s gone for a couple of hours? How come he goes shopping to places where ‘children can’t have fun until grown’ and the box shipped to their house has a weird shape, huh, Kenny? 

Yumichika kicks his ankle, huffing. “You are a miserable man who has no clue how to bed his partner. I can see bruises everywhere skin is visible and he’s clearly ready to take you six ways from Sunday. How come you’re scared?” 

Kenpachi takes another longer swig and tries summoning up the courage, or in this case, words. Turning to pornography merely frightened his ass and cock given the sheer size which some stars boasted. No way he could take Hanataro onto his lap without splitting the poor man in two. 

“I’m going to hurt him,” he grumbles. “I freak every single time he goes for my pants and he...” 

Hanataro watches him with those damned doe eyes and lips swollen and his neck dotted with fresh bruises. Hanataro might as well be a kitten trying to steal a meal from the junkyard dog. He fits so well atop Kenpachi’s chest, torso, and waist; he would drown were it not for the larger man keeping him in place. 

He’s a fool in gross sappy love people write about in romance novels judging by the look Yumichika's giving him. 

“You’re packing a monster, I assume? I’m not aksing for confirmation,” he says, picking up his phone and dialing. “Ikkaku, I require our whiteboard to explain the nuances of sexuality to Kenpachi.” 

“You have a whiteboard?” 

“I have several boards that cover several things, but this one will work best as you seem to require visuals without seeing us act them out for you.” 

A crash and several curses later, Ikkaku rolls a whiteboard into the living room. Markers dangle from his mouth; he hasn’t bothered washing off Yachiru’s artwork from her prior visit. Yumichika extracts the purple and begins scribbling stick figures in various sexual positions, which would be less frightening were it not for them lacking facial features. 

“I’m going to use green to signify lubrication, which is necessary and non-negotiable,” he says, drawing a copious amount between their legs. “I previously used brown but Ikkaku pointed out how some could find an issue with that. Pink is for anything involving oral. Now, what do you know when it comes to performing a rim job or going down on men?” 

“I want different neighbors and new babysitters for my kid.” 

“Right, also non-negotiable.” 

-

Hanataro makes it difficult to speak, lithe body squirming in his lap as he kisses his neck and collarbone. A groan rumbles up from his chest, something which he’s never done for any woman or man in his odd moresome but this man, Hanataro, his… 

“I can’t focus when you do that,” he grumbles but makes no move to pull away. “You make it impossible to focus or breathe, or fuck.” 

Hanataro focuses his attention right below his ear, pausing when he wheezes. “I can stop right now. A ‘no’ means no every single time.” 

Kenpachi wraps his arms around the smaller man, tugging him into a crushing hug and burying his face into his neck. He’s never been a teenager ready to come in his pants over some little touch, even when he was a fucking teenager. 

“You’re going to kill me,” he warns. “You breathe and I feel -- how a person in romance novels do, I guess? Like someone’s making me give a speech without preparation and my spine is jelly. I want to give you more but don’t want to hurt you and have never done things with a man outside of drunk threesomes where we agreed any touch ended the thing.” 

Hanataro hums, running his hands up and down the supposed jelly spine. “You just word vomited feelings to me. A month ago, feelings were gross intrusive things which were frightening and had no place in this world.” 

“Did you hear the word vomit?” 

“I did.” Hanataro peppers his head with kisses. “I just wanted to make sure you heard me recognize the communication. I don’t have a problem waiting to go further as our relationship has me satisfied right now. Sex isn’t a requirement in any relationship and anal sex isn’t necessary for queer relationships either. There are other ways to be intimate with a person.” 

“I going to double-count this as communication.”

**Author's Note:**

> I welcome every bookmark, comment, and kudos. 
> 
> Thank you!


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